My favorite revision strategies depend on what needs work in my essay. My first step in my revision process usually starts with analyzing my thesis. If I do not feel comfortable with how my thesis is holding up I will refer to my peer’s comments and start there. I also like to look at my Intro sentences to most of my body paragraphs, I always want them to stay on point with my main argument I am making . The next step in my revision strategy is looking at my textual evidence, which is always important to the body of an essay. If my peer does not think that my evidence is strong I will go back into the text and find another piece of evidence that relates to my argument. I then like to know if my analysis of the evidence is strong enough as well. The analysis represents your knowledge of what you are writing about, so this is one of the most important pieces of the essay. I then want to know if my conclusion is also strong enough. I will then refer to my peer’s comments to find out if my argument is concluded well
Revision Strategy:
- My goal is to create a better argument regarding beauty and how art is related to beauty.
- The steps I will take to follow this goal: Continue to question and interpret the sources and the media’s view of beauty, and to gain a better understanding of what Armstrong is arguing
- My biggest challenge is incorporating the multi-modal aspect into my essay
- I plan to turn to me peers comments if i come across a challenge that is too difficult
I plan to incorporate other media outlets in this essay. I plan to use videos or articles to help convey my point of beauty and how we see beauty.
https://www.artsy.net/article/artsy-editorial-duchamps-urinal-changed-art-forever
I plan to talk about art and beauty and I’m planning on using this source about Marcel Duchamp’s “Fountain” and how it is considered art. The argument about if this is art or not is always a heated one so I hope Ill be able to find both sides of it.
Part 2:
In my essay I want to be able to have a strong thesis and I want to establish my point from the start. I plan to talk about what beauty is to me, and I plan to summarize Schiller’s understanding of beauty and how it relates to my understanding of beauty. I also plan to interpret the video “What is art for?” and how it relates to my thoughts on art and beauty. For my multimodal element of my essay I plan to use photos and links to help convey my message of beauty and how art relates to beauty.
“To regard beauty as a luxury adornment or a social signifier was to miss the true potential of the experience.”
Armstrong’s statement is a powerful one, and I believe it to be very true. I think what the author is hinting at her is that we as a society regard beauty as something we should all strive for. The public puts out a perception that “this is what were supposed to look like” when showing a model or an ad, but in reality what make us beautiful is how different we are from one another.
I view beauty not in the way the public views beauty, I view beauty as how much I enjoy being around that person or that something. I think beauty is truly beautiful when it makes you laugh or makes you cry.
When we recognise beauty in a piece of music, or the graciousness of someone’s conduct, we see things that we know we have neglected or betrayed, and we feel an astonishing combination of anguish and delight.
Armstrong has an interesting quote here as he examines how we react to beauty in a piece of music. We appreciate it when we hear it but we are angry that it took us so long to find out it was beautiful.
Brian Peters, Eric Lederman, Jeff Eppright
Mrs. Emerson
English
March 17, 2018
Let’s Talk About Art
Art has played an important role in society throughout history. From cave drawings to modern sculptures, art has been around as long as the human race has existed. Art has very few boundaries, art is beholden to the eyes of the viewers. Something as simple as a urinal can be considered art, as is the case for Marcel Duchamp’s “Fountain”.
The piece is a common urinal from the early 20th century that was usually presented on its back for exhibition purposes rather than upright. Duchamp removed the urinal from its natural scenery in order to form a different view on the meaning of his art. The urinal was signed and dated “R. Mutt 1917”. Duchamp submitted it in a form of satire to counter the idea of the Society of Independent Artists. A salon in New York which claimed that they would accept any work of art, so long as the artist paid the application fee. Duchamp said that a goal of his with this piece of art was to change the original definition as to what art really is and what defines something as art. Although some may argue that this piece is not art, the “fountain” has been able to gather attention of critics all around the world.
One reason as to why this piece of art became so infamous was due to the choice of the object. Duchamp chose a urinal, a mass produced product that necessarily holds no actual importance in the world of art. It was said that his message was “art is something you piss on”. In a way he was saying that maybe everyone feels the need to critique art so he chose an object that literally is pissed on. With this work of art Duchamp started conceptual art.
Others believe this believe this piece is in fact art, as Duchamp made It his own. In spite of all the backlash the “Fountain” received, you can not argue that this was not his idea. “Whether Mr Mutt with his own hands made the fountain or not has no importance. He CHOSE it. He took an ordinary article of life, placed it so that its useful significance disappeared under the new title and point of view—created a new thought for that object.” (Beatrice Wood). Duchamp had also been known “readymades” -existing objects taken from real life and modified or re-contextualized to function as works of art. His style of art suggests that anything can be art as long as you claim it to be your “creation”.
What people can not deny about this work of art is that it raises a question: Is this art? We believe that Duchamp did this to spark a debate in the mind of the viewer, to put that idea into people’s brains. What defines something as art and what makes something art? Is art an opinion, is it up to what people see and what they interpret it to be?
Immediate Context:
“Necessary Edges: Arts, Empathy, and Education” was written by Yo-Yo Ma in 2014. Yo-Yo is a famous Cellist and songwriter and he has won over seventeen Grammy and has produced over ninety albums.
Imposed context:
The purpose for reading this text is to gain a better understanding of art and how the human brain recognizes it. “Ma considers the role of the arts in the world, arguing that the elements of empathy provided by artistic endeavors are essential to the kind of balanced thinking needed today”
Internal Context:
The “so what” is that humans need to find meaning and living “all of what we do as humans in society occurs in that brain space between life and death”. Ma also talks about finding equilibrium “Equilibrium occurs when the information from the edges is available at the core”.
Unfamiliar References:
Cognitive Reasoning- concerned with the act or process of knowing
Bandwidth- the range of frequencies within a given band
Lascivious- feeling or revealing an overt and often offensive sexual desire
Benjamin Zander’s TED talk about classical music, and Rhys Southan’s essay Is art a waste of time are examples of how influential art can be to the human race. Most of society views art as something beautiful, but they do not value it as highly as they would English or math. The society around us props up english, math, and sciences because that is what is most essential to the business world. However, nothing can simulate the creativity that is absorbed from art. Rhys Southan, a freelance writer who maintains his own blog, believes a world without art would be unlivable. Southan also discusses Effective Altruism (using reason and evidence to do the most good) and how it relates to art and our everyday lives. Benjamin Zander does not have the same hardcore beliefs about art that Southan has, but he is also a believer in art and how it is essential to our everyday lives. Zander is the conductor of the Boston Philharmonic Orchestra and throughout his TED talk he speaks about how art and in particular how transformational music can be. Southan’s title question “Is Art a Waste of Time?” stems from the Effective Altruists and their opinion about how art is in fact a waste of time. I disagree with that because art is part our everyday lives and it shapes the way we think. To advocate that art is a waste of time, as Effective Altruists do, shows the lack of respect that EAs have for artists like Rhys Southan and Benjamin Zander.
When Rhys Southan explains Effective Altruism, It shows the crossroads he is at between doing the most good, and spreading his love for art at the same time. From talking with multiple EAs Rhys concluded that writing a movie was not the best way for him to contribute to the world, but he cannot give writing up because it is what fuels him, and that is how art can be so inspirational. The crossroads Rhys is at stems from “the thing you most enjoy isn’t the most moral thing to do”. Rhys is fighting his love for art with the ability to do the most good for the most people possible. He also knows that art is not wasteful, and the knowledge that he has absorbed throughout his years of creating is irreplaceable. It is art that is able to bring people joy, and no matter how much good you can do, It will not be as valuable as the transformational experience that comes along with making art.
Changes:
After receiving feedback it was clear that I did not have a true thesis.
To advocate that art is a waste of time, as Effective Altruists do, shows the lack of respect that EAs have for artists like Rhys Southan and Benjamin Zander and the lack of respect for the work they are doing that changes people from within.
After writing my essay, and after getting it peer reviewed, I now believe I have a strong enough revision plan to make my essay stellar. My goal for my revision plan is to create and maintain a fully operating thesis. I had thought I had a good enough working thesis, but after my peers read my paper they concluded that I in fact did not. After asking them questions about how they made their thesis, I now think i have a good opportunity to create a functional thesis.
The steps I will take to achieve this goal will be to go back into my essay and find my essential points of argument. Once I am able to find them I have to create a good lead in my intro into the thesis. I will have good background information to introduce my thesis. Once all of this is done I will craft my thesis and make sure it coordinates with my essential theme.
My biggest challenge is not getting too repetitive in my essay. Over the years writing essays, this has always been one of my problems. I feel at times I say the same point over and over, but after asking my peers they did not feel it was too repetitive.
If I continue to have problems with this challenge of not being too repetitive I will consult my peers for help. I think peer help is a very valuable resource at our disposal, and i will be sure to use it if this problem comes around again.
After peer reviewing some of the Is Art a waste of time essays I was able to make some helpful suggestions to their work. I was able to make a couple of comments on my peers papers about their ideas in the essay. Is there a thesis? Is it clear and specific? I asked myself and for the most part they were. I also looked at the evidence they had to back their thesis, and I was able to make some comments on whether their evidence supported their claim. As far as their evidence was clear and supported their thesis I thought the people in my group did a good job of that. However, I did find some problems with their organization, I thought some of their papers did not flow particularly well. Overall, I think I was able to help them in the revision process, and I think I gave them enough Ideas where they could eventually write a great paper.
After analyzing Eric’s Intro paragraph I was able to take home some knowledge about intro paragraphs of my own. Eric wrote about the pictures and especially murals that can help inspire kids in poverty stricken areas. Eric does a good job of showing how a mural can brighten up a neighborhood, as art is a form of inspiration.
The only thing I would like Eric to change a little bit is the repetitiveness, towards the end of the paragraph he started to get more and more repetitive about how a picture can promote change. Other than that I really like Eric’s writing, especially the quote he used to open up the Introduction .
